On "Queer" Puritanism

Boy: Hey Billy! Hey Joey! Come on in. There’s plenty of room. Sorry, not you, Homer.
Homer: Why not?
[boy points to sign, “No Homers Club”]
Homer: But you let in Homer Glumplich.
Homer G.: [pops head out window] Hyuck hyuck!
Boy: It says no Homer_s_. We’re allowed to have one.
Homer: Oh…

  • Homer the Great, Episode 2F09, The Simpsons

The queer community does not exist. I’ll get this out of the way right now, even though I will be talking about the queer community. Being queer is something you may have in common, but outside of newly awakened people, chasers, or Grindr users it is not particularly common to try and make friends on the sole aspect of being queer. I also despise the word “queer”, but whatever, it’s the easiest way to make my point.

That aside, there is a rather big streak of puritanism in the “queer” ““community””. If you use Twitter, you’ve certainly seen it - from people making dumb viral tweets about how men wearing maid dresses are literally preying on gay people or whatever the fuck that one was, to the reposted TikToks with barely concealed TERFism dressed up in (even more) woke language.

The crux of these is that there is a Right Way to be queer, and a Wrong Way. Usually, the right way is to be as inoffensive as possible to some imagined approval board, varying from an all-cis HR department in a company pretending to be liberal, to just their personal beliefs and biases. The latter usually is informed by an extremely ““privileged”” (for lack of a better word) life, where their only problems are on the internet.

The Wrong Way to be queer is an instant blasphemous sin against your personal quality, which then makes you fully deserving of harassment. It doesn’t help that many of these puritans have zero sense of humour or lack any ability to detect sarcasm; but when you are incredibly dogmatic about the right way to be oppressed you typically had any ability to find things funny surgically removed at age six.

The pathetic attempts by puritans to morally police people they met five minutes ago also comes in many different forms. The most utterly contemptful form is attempting to stop people from making fun of their own identity. It’s not a joke!!! they scream at you. You’re making us look bad!!!! they utter in a desperate attempt to garner validation from people who think both of you deserve to be killed.

Another form is very prevalent in the gay/lesbian communities; attempting to stop people from being gay/lesbian in the Incorrect Fashion. This has a wide range of implementations; from bog-standard TERFism with gold star lesbianism and transphobia to woke TERFism with “bisexual lesbianism” to even woker TERFism with calling people who like twinks paedophiles (yeah, that happened once).

This is a thoroughly pointless affair; the concept of “gay” and “lesbian” are fake. The only two sexual orientations are “asexual” and “bisexual” (really, it should just be sexual), unless you admit that your ““orientation”” is just an aesthetic choice. This especially applies with trying to shoe-horn in nonbinary people into these fake orientations. I’m sure that me, a genderfluid AMAB NB person will be very included in the lesbian community.

Queer puritans, however, must define these orientations concretely and begin a grand campaign to expunge anyone who does not fit these definitions. These categories, which are fundamentally more of a political movement than anything grounded in reality, are Defined By Law (the law of the puritan) to be their very own No Homers Club.

Ultimately, this puritanism doesn’t really affect the victim. It’s great fun to watch the hordes of retards endlessly harass you because you don’t fit their notion of reality. It does, however, significantly warp the mind of the puritan.

The puritan desperately tries to get the approval of their imaginary approval board with their words and actions. They shit all over their “fellow” queer people in a desperate attempt to gain a modicum of respect from the people who never respected them in the first place.

They want to be straight, but in a gay way - seen as straight, respected as straight, treated as equals with straights, even if that means stomping on the heads of people who want to live their life their way, who don’t want to be groveling at the feet of your enemies begging to be part of the death squads.

You can be a better dancing monkey with a loaded gun for cishet people all you like, but at the end of the day you’re still a monkey. They will still think of us as a lesser species, a group of degenerates, and want to exterminate us. Trying to file off the sharp edges of your funnier, more charismatic, bigger dicked, etc associates won’t stop you being from sent to the camps.