I Hate Normal People
Table of Contents
So how about that pigskin? How about that sport with the pigskin?
Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Top ten juiced up coaches, AND the top ten juiced up players.
I hate normal people. They are a lesser subspecies of human being that consist entirely of philosophical zombies, and they rule the world.
What is a normal person? Most of all, a normal person is boring. They have boring ““interests””, they have boring lives, and they have boring opinions. But it is easier to define a normal person in what they are not than what they are.
A normal person has things that superficially resemble interests. They’re not really interests; a normal person is simply incapable of holding a real interest in anything. How about that football, a normal person may ask you as you come into work the morning after a big match. Maybe this normal person believes they are really a fan of football; that is perfectly average behaviour for a normal person. But they are lying to themselves; a normal person has never spent twelve hours in a row on Wikipedia researching every single facet of their favourite team, looking at every single piece of useless trivia on football, or even working themselves up into a frenzy about how they want to join a football team despite only having come into contact with the idea half an hour ago.
Unfortunately, this makes it hard to even connect with normal people if you are Weird, and not normal. Infodumping is considered “Weird”, maybe even a little bit “rude” - why did you fucking ask then? It’s hard to be friends with a normal person if they simply don’t have the deep interest in something that you do. What do you even talk about, then, if not the deepest and most obscure pieces of trivia? Just telling each-other to go to www dot nfl dot com, and just check it out?
The vast majority of these interests in the normal person population are given to them, not independently discovered. Their life is dominated by what an algorithm tells them to like, which is always lowest-common denominator mass media with zero substance, thought or deeper meaning. All the well, since the average normal person does not understand deeper concepts - look at the sheer resentment in popular culture about secondary school English Lit classes, or the growing movement amongst permanent adult-children who exclusively read Young Adult to replace English Lit curriculums with Young Adult book with zero substance, thought or deeper meaning.
Normal people’s interests is slop, slop of the lowest kind - easy to make, soulless, and completely devoid of any value. No normal person would be into Suda51 ! It’s too complex for the uncaring and uncritically thinking normal person brain. Luckily, we have Marvel movies which offer easy, formulaic entertainment that you can sit down with for two hours and avoid having to pretend to think about anything. Themes? Fuck that. Subtext? Fuck that. Allegory? Fuck that. Any semblance of a real message, other than literal child storybook messages? Absolutely fuck that.
The most bizarre trait of the normal person is the invention of a bunch of ways to talk to people without actually having to talk to people. Even the common idiom “the silence is deafening” references how normal people have to fill the air with words lacking any semblance of substance in order to function as a normal person. Normal people talk in a faux-polite tone; it’s not really polite - if anything, it’s clearly one of the most insulting things possible - but if you dare step outside the realm of Talking Normally And Politely you are violating the unspoken rules of talking and thus are deemed Weird. From a higher up view, it seems as if normal people have invented entire ways of communicating as if the other person is a robot!
Why does this all matter, you ask? Let people enjoy things! Sure, if the normal person population was relegated to zoos as they rightfully should be, this would not be a problem; the normal person would be a popular exhibit: see the creature that looks like you, but is completely brain dead!
Unfortunately, the curse of the normal person is what rules society. Everything about society is oriented towards the normal person; mass media is low effort shit, people talk to you in a condescending tone about nothing, and there’s weird social rules that you have to follow that are constructed for the sole purpose of talking to others as if they’re small children or perhaps an intelligent dog.
This would still be fine, if the normal person stuck to their own fucking lane. But instead, normal people must take it among themselves to exterminate the Weird people. They force Weird people to interact like normal people. Any sort of actual creativity must be expelled from the universe, lest it be “pretentious”. Mass media marketed towards normal people strangles out all Weird media, and normal people cheer it on.
Being Weird in a normal person world sucks. Many of us Weird people know that, and many hate the glorification of being Weird and not normal. But a lot of that is because normal people make being Weird hard, they make being Weird a crime, they want to make us “normal” again and save us. They encroach onto our spaces, and get mad at us for what we do, and get mad at us when we push back. Look at what happened to Isabel Fall!
I hate normal people. They want to exterminate Weirdness out of the world in favour of their empty, soulless version of reality. They are a lesser species of human being that consist entirely of philosophical zombies. After all:
I think you should kill yourself Dilbert.